Friday, September 23, 2005
Close your eyes
Close your eyes. You wanted a bath, didn't you? You ran the hot water heater for six hours, didn't you? Everybody's aleep, so just run the bath and relax.
Oh. Isn't the water a bit ... yellow? Funny, the tub looked perfectly clean. The water coming out of the faucet looks perfectly clear.
It's your imagination. Just close your eyes and get in. Oooh. That's nice and hot. That's better, isn't it? Ahhhh.
Hmmmm. The water really is yellow, isn't it? Nevermind. You were filthy, obviously. Just relax. Wait. What's that smell? Oh, crap. You smell bad now. Possibly minerals in the water but more likely urine or BO. Damn. What to do?
That aftershave you brought with you! Yeah, that stuff smells great! Shave, dammit! Shave everything you can and slather yourself in that stuff.
Mmmm. My skin is all tingly.
Oh. Isn't the water a bit ... yellow? Funny, the tub looked perfectly clean. The water coming out of the faucet looks perfectly clear.
It's your imagination. Just close your eyes and get in. Oooh. That's nice and hot. That's better, isn't it? Ahhhh.
Hmmmm. The water really is yellow, isn't it? Nevermind. You were filthy, obviously. Just relax. Wait. What's that smell? Oh, crap. You smell bad now. Possibly minerals in the water but more likely urine or BO. Damn. What to do?
That aftershave you brought with you! Yeah, that stuff smells great! Shave, dammit! Shave everything you can and slather yourself in that stuff.
Mmmm. My skin is all tingly.
# posted by Colin @ 3:07 AM 
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